So I guess I've been debating on whether or not to post this so soon. However, since the cat is pretty much out of the bag with family and friends (and that probably means most people that read this haha) I guess I'll say it here too...
I'm pregnant! Pretty early on. About six weeks, due mid-August. Now, I know that there are a lot of reasons not to go spouting this all over the world yet. However, since I know a lot about these reasons from both friends' experiences and my own, I realized that if something does go wrong... I would rather have the support that I ended up having last time. I was trying to wait until Christmas to start telling people, but I got too excited. I wanted to wait until Mother's Day to tell my mom last time... but that didn't turn out so well. So I decided to not wait. I would just let it out.
The honest truth is that I'm pretty scared. The first time I got pregnant, it was a surprise, everything was fine and normal and I had a healthy (albeit a little pukey) pregnancy. Then it happened again and after knowing for less than a week, that life that I had already grown so attached to was snatched away from me in front of my eyes. While I have known for about a week and a half now, I HATE to admit it, but I kind of feel like I'm waiting for it to be taken away from me again. I know that is not the way to think at all, and it's not at all every second of the day... but it's there for sure. Every time I go to the bathroom I hold my breath while looking to see if there is any blood (which obviously there hasn't been). I have felt some symptoms, but nothing severe. While I obviously don't WANT severe symptoms, without them and feeling normal- I feel as though this may not be happening. That was one of the biggest reasons I told people. I wanted to make sure it was real.
It has been really scary telling people. I have gotten good feedback for the most part, and while I know other people's opinions shouldn't matter... it was scary to think they might have nervous thoughts based on last time. I'm not sure when or if I'll get over the fear of losing the baby. I know of people that have lost their baby so far into their pregnancy. My health insurance kicks in at the start of the year, so I'll be able to go to the doctor after that... though there isn't too much they can do if anything were to happen anyway. Last time the only help I got from them was a lot of bills.
I promise that while this sounds pretty down, I really am positive about the whole thing. Logan is so excited. He loves putting his hand on my belly even though there isn't any change, and Dex is learning to kiss the baby. Even though I'm sure he has absolutely no idea what he is doing. I'm taking care of myself, we're all eating healthy, and I'm excited to have a two week vacation starting tomorrow! Today was technically my last day of work, but I need to go in and work on paperwork tomorrow since there is never any time with the kiddos around. We get to go to Declan's Holiday party, and I was JUST appointed the class mom, so I need to try to get my act together with that! So there is lots to do and then time to jump on a plane and see everyone back home.
**Sorry if this is the way you are finding out about number two and you didn't hear in person! We tried to make sure people knew!!
*** Love to all!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The laziest Sunday
What a nice day it has been today. Though we had an awesome teething moment at 3:30 this morning, that only meant that Dex let us sleep in until almost 9. Thank goodness! Logan works on Sundays, so it means Mommy and Dex alone time. Sometimes I'm feeling ambitious (especially when it's warmer) and we go out and see people or to the park or the store or whatever, but lately I've been feeling pretty tired. This causes me to just want more cuddle time.
So Dex and I have spent our day watching Lilo and Stitch and Monsters, Inc., eating cereal and raspberries and yogurt, visiting Daddy at the coffee shop and making (and of course eating) cookies.
Last night we went to a surprise party for Logan's aunt. It was really nice to hang out with family. We ate delicious food, played some games and watched Dex and his two little cousins run like crazies around the house. It is so cute watching him run around after kids that are just a little bit bigger than him. It is also really funny because he has become attached to his stuffed animals (Daisy the sheep and his monkey) and his blankie. His blankie is like two feet by two feet so him dragging it around after him makes him look just like Linus.
It's time to start getting our act together to go home. Until then... back to more cookies and cuddling for me.
So Dex and I have spent our day watching Lilo and Stitch and Monsters, Inc., eating cereal and raspberries and yogurt, visiting Daddy at the coffee shop and making (and of course eating) cookies.
Last night we went to a surprise party for Logan's aunt. It was really nice to hang out with family. We ate delicious food, played some games and watched Dex and his two little cousins run like crazies around the house. It is so cute watching him run around after kids that are just a little bit bigger than him. It is also really funny because he has become attached to his stuffed animals (Daisy the sheep and his monkey) and his blankie. His blankie is like two feet by two feet so him dragging it around after him makes him look just like Linus.
It's time to start getting our act together to go home. Until then... back to more cookies and cuddling for me.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
One week!
One week until we are boarding that plane and heading East. I'm so excited (even though I'm sure that sounds like a broken record by now). I'm trying to travel without a lot (because I know that our warm clothes will take up my whole bag) but I have some GREAT ideas for some gifts to make once I'm there. Surprises, surprises.
I also really can't wait to show everyone how much bigger Dex is. He seriously astounds me every day in how much more he can do. I kind of really wish I was able to have him in a Montessori environment at this age. He would do so well with a more structured daily environment. I know that where he is now, everyone is doing the best that they can, but I hate how high the ratio is. It makes it so hard for the teachers to spend quality time with the kids. There is also such a "Mine, mine, mine" feeling around the classroom. That is not at all the case in Montessori. He would definitely do well with having his own work and learning to be patient and peaceful. Who knows what our next step will be, but perhaps in that direction.
Our apartment is slowly coming together. We have more ingredients in our kitchen and more furniture. However, shelves would be awesome. Our living room has no furniture which means nowhere to put our stuff! Freecycle, Craigslist, and yardsales are becoming our new best friends. I'm working on getting a new SD card and researching new cameras, so that soon I can post pics. (Also working on cleaning up messes constantly)
Now that we are more settled, both have jobs, and have a place to live, I'm thinking more about how to get to where I want to be. I'm really not fulfilled at my job, and as scary as it is to really think about... I think that teaching might not be the place for me. I have been scared into staying in the same type of profession for the last few years, but really need a change. I am so grateful for the discounted child care, but with having my Master's... I feel as though I can do something more. I'm just not sure what that more is. My really silly wish is that I could get a nice camera and see if that could lead me to taking portraits. However, I don't have a nice camera (and only so much money that could be put towards it) and don't really know very much about professional photography. I also think that it would be awhile before that could take off enough to help support my family. Just a silly wish I guess.
However, people that know anything about cameras... any advice on what I might want to take a look at/ what I should be looking for in a camera?
See all those at home soon! Hugs from the Hardages!
I also really can't wait to show everyone how much bigger Dex is. He seriously astounds me every day in how much more he can do. I kind of really wish I was able to have him in a Montessori environment at this age. He would do so well with a more structured daily environment. I know that where he is now, everyone is doing the best that they can, but I hate how high the ratio is. It makes it so hard for the teachers to spend quality time with the kids. There is also such a "Mine, mine, mine" feeling around the classroom. That is not at all the case in Montessori. He would definitely do well with having his own work and learning to be patient and peaceful. Who knows what our next step will be, but perhaps in that direction.
Our apartment is slowly coming together. We have more ingredients in our kitchen and more furniture. However, shelves would be awesome. Our living room has no furniture which means nowhere to put our stuff! Freecycle, Craigslist, and yardsales are becoming our new best friends. I'm working on getting a new SD card and researching new cameras, so that soon I can post pics. (Also working on cleaning up messes constantly)
Now that we are more settled, both have jobs, and have a place to live, I'm thinking more about how to get to where I want to be. I'm really not fulfilled at my job, and as scary as it is to really think about... I think that teaching might not be the place for me. I have been scared into staying in the same type of profession for the last few years, but really need a change. I am so grateful for the discounted child care, but with having my Master's... I feel as though I can do something more. I'm just not sure what that more is. My really silly wish is that I could get a nice camera and see if that could lead me to taking portraits. However, I don't have a nice camera (and only so much money that could be put towards it) and don't really know very much about professional photography. I also think that it would be awhile before that could take off enough to help support my family. Just a silly wish I guess.
However, people that know anything about cameras... any advice on what I might want to take a look at/ what I should be looking for in a camera?
See all those at home soon! Hugs from the Hardages!
Monday, December 6, 2010
#1 Hubs Award
Woo hoo! We finally have working internet here! Pretty stoked about that. Now we need to get our webcam act together so iChatting and skyping and such can take place. So people can see Declan's constant ridiculousness. He is seriously one of the funniest kids. Maybe I'm biased.
I don't have a whole lot to update on at the moment. Except that I will totally and completely give out a shout-out to my Number One Hubs tonight. As all couples do, we have had our roller-coaster moments, but things have been SO good between us lately. And even when things have been down I know what a lucky, lucky girl I am. I will tell this moment of my day, but only continue reading if you promise not to get jealous. K? K.
Today I had training for work at another school, and drove back to my school after. On the drive, I talked to Logan about household stuff and we got it sorted. During this conversation he told me that a co-worker wasn't feeling well and was wondering if Logan could cover his shift. And instead of just taking it, he told them that he needed to talk to me to make sure it was ok. He wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to feel abandoned having to take care of Dex by myself after a long day of work. He wanted to make sure my needs were met. (As I type this, I realize I may sound kind of controlling... but I swear this was all out of the blue... probably because I've been feeling a little under the weather for the last two weeks). Seriously? Making sure my needs were met as a cause not to take a shift at work? HOW LUCKY AM I?
Of course I told him to go. I would have anyway. But I just wanted to throw it out there. I love him. So much. So much gushy lovey stuff that would probably make you gag if you knew how over the moon I was.
(Also... he went out and got me cough drops and sushi last night after we put D down. Just because I mentioned I wanted them. Ugh. I'm so spoiled I can't handle it. Yes I can.)
I don't have a whole lot to update on at the moment. Except that I will totally and completely give out a shout-out to my Number One Hubs tonight. As all couples do, we have had our roller-coaster moments, but things have been SO good between us lately. And even when things have been down I know what a lucky, lucky girl I am. I will tell this moment of my day, but only continue reading if you promise not to get jealous. K? K.
Today I had training for work at another school, and drove back to my school after. On the drive, I talked to Logan about household stuff and we got it sorted. During this conversation he told me that a co-worker wasn't feeling well and was wondering if Logan could cover his shift. And instead of just taking it, he told them that he needed to talk to me to make sure it was ok. He wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to feel abandoned having to take care of Dex by myself after a long day of work. He wanted to make sure my needs were met. (As I type this, I realize I may sound kind of controlling... but I swear this was all out of the blue... probably because I've been feeling a little under the weather for the last two weeks). Seriously? Making sure my needs were met as a cause not to take a shift at work? HOW LUCKY AM I?
Of course I told him to go. I would have anyway. But I just wanted to throw it out there. I love him. So much. So much gushy lovey stuff that would probably make you gag if you knew how over the moon I was.
(Also... he went out and got me cough drops and sushi last night after we put D down. Just because I mentioned I wanted them. Ugh. I'm so spoiled I can't handle it. Yes I can.)
Friday, December 3, 2010
Holiday Ramblings
Still fighting with AT&T to get our internet settled. A bit frustrating, but what can ya do. I guess the neighbor's spotty stolen internet will continue to suffice for the time being.
Two weeks and one day until Dex and I are East Coast bound. I am SO excited to see my family and friends. Like unbelievably so. However, I do have one minor thing that I'm a little nervous about. The weather! This East Coast girl has gotten pretty used to THIS kind of weather...
Seriously. 61 at 9pm. And tomorrow is a high of 77. Really not sure I can go back to...
High of 42? I don't know about that. I'm not sure I have located enough long sleeved shirts yet.
I cannot wait to share how much my little man has grown. In the last four months he has truly become a real toddler. When we left he was walking but just barely. He now runs everywhere he goes. His smile is one of the biggest I've ever seen and I'm constantly getting compliments on how good and happy he is. (Though trust me... I also know the tantrums well... he just mostly saves those for mommy and daddy) I can't wait to have brunch in Brookline and patron the Starbucks in Newton. We will see all kinds of babies in Guilford and snuggle with Nana in Franklin. We'll see the sea on the Cape and the mountains in Vermont. I am so excited to remind my boy of his roots. Even though it hasn't been that long. He's little and I'm sure he won't remember.
He gets to experience the Christmas I grew up with. Christmas Eve with my mom's family and opening ONE gift (even though mom pretends EVERY year that we won't get to). Christmas day with my dad's family. The craziness of the Yankee Swap and so many kisses and cousins that are just his size. He will actually care about Christmas. He will touch every decoration he walks past and bounce to the music. I'm sure he will make cute faces all day that will reward him with sweets that my family will sneak him. He will unwrap his gifts and play with the wrapping paper. He will love to watch the Christmas movies that I grew up with. I can't wait to share it all with him. It stinks that Logan won't be with us to celebrate it, but it means that we get an extra Christmas when we get back. Once we leave Logan will be busy building this...
!!!!!! For our return. SOOOO excited for Dex to see it when we get back. The best present ever. (Thanks grandma!)
Also... on a slightly different note. I've been saving for awhile. Graduation money, birthday money, etc... and I think I'm almost on my way to...
A new camera. I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I think that I'm really ready to make the commitment. I don't know when it will happen exactly, but I want to be able to take great quality pictures of Declan and get more into it. If anyone knows anything about cameras, I'm definitely taking advice on what I should be looking for.
So all in all, I'm happy to be going home soon. Not so psyched for the weather. But ready to take on the holidays. And so ready to get to show it all to Dex. Love to all and can't wait to see those that read this back home!
Two weeks and one day until Dex and I are East Coast bound. I am SO excited to see my family and friends. Like unbelievably so. However, I do have one minor thing that I'm a little nervous about. The weather! This East Coast girl has gotten pretty used to THIS kind of weather...
| Right Now | Next 36 Hours | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 | Tonight | Tomorrow | Tomorrow Night |
 |  | | |
| Fair | Partly Cloudy | Mostly Sunny | Partly Cloudy |
| 61°F | 57° | 77° | 40° |
| Feels Like: 61° | Low | High | Low |
| Past 24-hr: Precip: 0 in Snow: 0 in | Chance of Precip: 20% | Chance of Precip: 20% | Chance of Precip: 10% |
| Wind: From S at 3mph | Wind: SSW at 9 mph | Wind: SSW at 9 mph | Wind: NNE at 14 mph |
Seriously. 61 at 9pm. And tomorrow is a high of 77. Really not sure I can go back to...
| Right Now | Next 36 Hours | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 | Tonight | Tomorrow | Tomorrow Night |
|  | | |
| Cloudy | Clouds Early / Clearing Late | Partly Cloudy | Partly Cloudy |
| 38°F | 31° | 42° | 29° |
| Feels Like: 30° | Low | High | Low |
| Past 24-hr: Precip: 0 in Snow: 0 in | Chance of Precip: 20% | Chance of Precip: 20% | Chance of Precip: 20% |
| Wind: From NW at 12mph | Wind: NW at 13 mph | Wind: WNW at 18 mph | Wind: W at 13 mph |
High of 42? I don't know about that. I'm not sure I have located enough long sleeved shirts yet.
I cannot wait to share how much my little man has grown. In the last four months he has truly become a real toddler. When we left he was walking but just barely. He now runs everywhere he goes. His smile is one of the biggest I've ever seen and I'm constantly getting compliments on how good and happy he is. (Though trust me... I also know the tantrums well... he just mostly saves those for mommy and daddy) I can't wait to have brunch in Brookline and patron the Starbucks in Newton. We will see all kinds of babies in Guilford and snuggle with Nana in Franklin. We'll see the sea on the Cape and the mountains in Vermont. I am so excited to remind my boy of his roots. Even though it hasn't been that long. He's little and I'm sure he won't remember.
He gets to experience the Christmas I grew up with. Christmas Eve with my mom's family and opening ONE gift (even though mom pretends EVERY year that we won't get to). Christmas day with my dad's family. The craziness of the Yankee Swap and so many kisses and cousins that are just his size. He will actually care about Christmas. He will touch every decoration he walks past and bounce to the music. I'm sure he will make cute faces all day that will reward him with sweets that my family will sneak him. He will unwrap his gifts and play with the wrapping paper. He will love to watch the Christmas movies that I grew up with. I can't wait to share it all with him. It stinks that Logan won't be with us to celebrate it, but it means that we get an extra Christmas when we get back. Once we leave Logan will be busy building this...
!!!!!! For our return. SOOOO excited for Dex to see it when we get back. The best present ever. (Thanks grandma!)
Also... on a slightly different note. I've been saving for awhile. Graduation money, birthday money, etc... and I think I'm almost on my way to...
A new camera. I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I think that I'm really ready to make the commitment. I don't know when it will happen exactly, but I want to be able to take great quality pictures of Declan and get more into it. If anyone knows anything about cameras, I'm definitely taking advice on what I should be looking for.
So all in all, I'm happy to be going home soon. Not so psyched for the weather. But ready to take on the holidays. And so ready to get to show it all to Dex. Love to all and can't wait to see those that read this back home!
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