Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Hello Strangers

I've been away for awhile spending time with my family. There are vacations that are marked by laying on the beach and going on rides, but this was a vacation marked by snuggling and watching movies and taking naps and drinking lots of coffee. There wasn't really a whole lot of "special" things that happened, but just having my family back was pretty special.

I'm having a bit of a hard time being here. It's really hard for me to be away from my family. I know that nothing is forever, and this is just one of our many adventures together, but it is definitely a hard start. It is hard that we moved to a new place, had to work with temporary living for the last four months, and I had to get a job where I don't get to spend every minute with my son. It is a huge adjustment and I'm working on it. I have had trouble with depression on and off since the third grade. I have been in a good place for awhile, even through pregnancy and grad school and everything, but being so far away from home while having a tough time is making me feel a little bit like I'm standing on the edge of the depression again. It is really scary for me because I know how it will feel once I fall. I know that I shouldn't worry about anything until it happens, but even just the thinking about falling has me feeling more like I'm falling.

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