So as of a few days ago I had gotten a job and the apartment search had been looking hopeful. Now, I don't want to get too much into it (because that would turn this into a pretty big rant) but due to scheduling differences between the time they wanted me to stay until and the time of Declan's nap- I am not working at that job anymore. Since I now have no job and Logan still doesn't have a job (and heard a "no" back from Barnes and Noble today) we have no proof of financial stability. This means that since the apartment complex wants some pay stubs or offer letters, getting an apartment will not be as easy.
I was watching a movie last night and they were talking about the goddess of destruction (in India- sorry I don't remember/know how to spell her name). A man (from the US) was asking a native of India why someone would want to have statues of the goddess of destruction around. She explained that sometimes destruction was good because it allowed for new cycles to occur- for new beginnings. Maybe that is what is happening in our lives. The change of scenery wasn't enough. (I am admitting that this is our doing because of our choices, but it's still hard to live with). Our lives are being slowly destroyed. Now, I know that we haven't hit anywhere near rock bottom, and I know that our families wouldn't let us get that far. But, it is really hard to take a step back and realize that although I have my Master's Degree... I can't get a decent job to help support my family (let's face it... working 9-1 and having child care taken out wasn't going to pay the bills) and I don't have a place to live.
I am craving my independence back and am working hard to try and get it. For now I suppose I just need to keep making those steps forward and hope some of them stick.