Thursday, July 8, 2010

To the Stay at Home Moms

OK. So I know it's rude to talk about financial stuff with people and whatever but... I am seriously curious as to how people actually make this stuff work. How do you stay at home moms afford it? Is is that your hubbies/baby daddies make enough to support you? Do you live with them/your parents/other financial supporters? Do you do things on the side to make some cash here and there? Do you work from home? If so... what do you do and how do you do it?

I am finding applying for jobs to be a task that gets harder every day. When every day feels like Saturday and I still have Declan to take care of, and Logan's schedule changes every day... I just can't seem to make myself hide somewhere and sit down and work for hours on cover letters and applications when I have so far heard VERY little back from companies. People my age sympathize and have also had a hard time. People of another generation say that this is just the way that companies work. I guess it's just the way that they work, but why does it have to be this way? I'm not expecting to get things handed to me or have them be easy... but hearing SOMETHING back would be great. I totally understand why people give up. I'm just at the point of wondering if there is some other way to go about this. Can I work from home somehow? Can I make money with odd-jobs or something?

Please... any opinions or comments would be greatly appreciated.



  1. k-fo - what about tutoring? i know you can't necessarily take care of declan and tutor at the same time, but maybe it would work out with logan's schedule? i also bet you could do some freelance writing for parenting magazines. doesn't pay a lot but every little bit helps. go to the bookstore and take ntoes on submission guidelines from the 2010 writer's market book. are you still moving??? xo-jess n.

  2. I also think that you could submit some of this blog to magazines......

  3. This is a hard subject for me to comment on, because money is such a sore spot for me, but because I am a stay at home mom, maybe I have some thoughts that could be of use. I don't know.

    My husband and I agreed since we married that I would be a housewife/homemaker/domestic engineer/stay at home mom/whatever you want to call it. This was even before we had a baby. When he was in the Marine Corps, I was totally fine with it. I mean, being enlisted you only get like 1,800 a month, so it's not a lot to begin with. Vacations weren't going to happen for us, but we were able to put like $200 a month aside into a savings account and at least start building something. We had all kinds of plans. His goal was to be able to provide for our family, and my goal was to be satisfied with what he provided. I didn't want him to think his efforts were not enough for me. We lived on very little. We didn't have a tv. Didn't care. We shared one vehicle. We had one tiny apartment with lousy neighbors. We spent about 100 a month on groceries. $175 if we were really splurging. We went out to eat here and there but mostly we lived rather simple lives. I realized that living simply was not only the only way to get by as a house wife, but it was also the way that made the most sense. If we needed clothes, we just went to Goodwill or Wal-mart. There was one time I bought a dress at a fancy store in a mall, but just that one time.

    Now that we're out of the military for now, and we have a baby, and my husband is technically 60% disabled and unemployed and we only live off of $805 a month, making ends meet is a terrible thing to think about. We do indeed have bills that need to be paid. We don't buy clothes for ourselves, and because of the generosity of family (and trade-in stores), our son has everything he needs. We've never had more than "just enough." And sometimes we think we don't even have "just enough." We realize that this might be a long term thing or it might be short term, but overall, we have learned to life a different lifestyle than what makes us happy or comfortable. We have to live within our means, and when we do, THAT is when we feel most content and at peace with what's going on.

    I have tried to sell photography here and there, but no one really wants to buy. My husband does landscaping here and there but it's not a business. We are currently waiting for the VA to pay us what they owe us.

    My advice is to simplify your bills as much as you possibly can, and sell things when you can. We tend to think we need more than we really need. And we tend to forget where true happiness comes from. It's not in things, or people, or even places. True happiness comes from being in the center of God's will for your life. (I actually did it! I posted a whole thing and only mentioned God ONCE! lol) To be the best stay at home mom you can be, your priorities must be to support and respect your husband, to raise your children well, and to take care of the house (cooking, cleaning, washing, scheduling, etc). I think as a woman fulfills those roles well, she can do what she and her husband decide is right for them to do as far as money goes.

    I know this is long. I have a lot of thoughts on the matter. Hopefully I said something that's useful to you.

  4. Different than what you asked for, but I would say don't get discouraged about the job search from afar. Lots of people do internet job searches, so the companies get a lot of resumes that way. The job search will go much better when you are "there", you will hear about things and be able to act on them in person. I got two phone interviews in 6 months of job searching before we moved to DC. Once I was there, I got like 4 interviews in a month and started my real job after 6 weeks. I would put a local address on your resume also. I always did temp office work and got interviews from people referring me to people they knew at other companies. Maybe substitute teaching would be equivalent "temp work" for your background, and then people will see how much you rock and want to hire you when there is an opening. Something will come up, you just need to "be there". Love ya bunches. --Julie


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