Saturday, July 10, 2010

Dear Declan

Dear Declan,
Over the past 15 months I have fallen more in love than I knew possible. Every day you teach me about love and patience and joy (along with frustration and exhaustion, but we'll focus on the good here). I have had the privilege of being able to watch as you have achieved so many things. I have watched you learn to roll over, sit up, crawl, pull yourself up, and I am about to watch you learn to walk. I cannot tell you how much excitement and anxiety I feel over this upcoming moment. You are SO close, and I know that those first steps will be into true toddler-hood, into independence, and the start of taking steps away from me.

I know that is the way that it should be. It is not my job to raise you to hang onto my leg at every moment, but to raise you up so you can run and soar on your own. However, it is terrifying knowing how close this next step is. Some babies go from crawling to walking so fast that people don't even notice the change. You have taken your time- knowing that crawling is what you are good at so why would you try something different? I have gotten to savor each change in your mobility. I feel like my days are lived in complete anticipation right now, just waiting. I don't want to push you into anything, but I am so excited to see how proud of yourself you will be. And I know you will be so proud. I can picture the ear-to-ear grin right now and my heart swells.

You haven't started to say "mama" yet, and that's ok because I know you love me. However, more than saying "mama" I would LOVE it if you started walking while I was around. I am with you 90% of the time, so this shouldn't be a problem, but please, please let me share in this joy. It's been you and me (and daddy... but mostly you and me) so far kid and I feel as though we're in it together at this point.

I love you more than you know,

Mommy

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