So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about expectations. I suppose that there is the theory that if you have expectations then you will only meet disappointment - or that if you have low expectations you will be pleasantly surprised. I don't know how I feel about that. I think that if you don't have any expectations... how are you supposed to have any hopes or dreams or goals? If there is no standard for things in your life... how will you know how to recognize things that will make you happy?
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that everything in life has to reach these high unachievable standards and I will be miserable until that happens. Not at all. I am constantly learning to take a step back and see the good in the things surrounding me. However, I do have some expectations for things in my life. I have some expectations about what job I will take. I have expectations about the qualities my friends must have. I have expectations of myself. And I have expectations about love.
I feel as though I'm at a pretty big turning point in my life right now. We're about to make the plunge to Texas (more about that in a different post), I am unemployed with nothing hopeful in sight, we have been having to rely on others for so much help in the last few weeks (which is something I'm really not comfortable with) and in this move I am about to leave my family- my support system. I am okay with most of this, but recently I have been feeling really unbalanced, like I am floating through the universe without something to hold on, and like I really want/need to figure out what I want from life since this is my opportunity to get it.
I feel as though some of my expectations for things around me are changing as my universe changes. This affects many things including relationships. I don't really know what to do about any of it. I want what is going to make me happy- I NEED what will make me happy. But how do I know if I my expectations are just too high and I would be happier lowering them rather than striving for the impossible? I feel really lost.