Home Sweet Home

So Dear Readers,

We have a new home. I can't believe it's been ten days since I last posted. To play that broken record one last time... that's what having no internet does. Things here have changed quite a bit in the last few days. I have a new position at my school and we have a new home. I am now the Accelerated Pre-K teacher and have my own class. It's a big transition for all of us but I'm excited about the prospects.

And we have  a new home! We pretty much moved across the street, so Logan can still walk to work. We have TWO bedrooms again so Logan and I don't have to sleep in the living room anymore, and we can finally settle. It was really scary for me to have a whole year lease ahead of me... I wasn't sure if I was ready for that kind of commitment, but I think it will be good. I'm excited to actually be able to decorate and make it OURS. I feel like Declan is starting to get to the age where he will start caring about his home and his room, and I'm so glad I get to give that to him. (Though a house would be great also...)

Speaking of that little devil, to update those who miss him greatly... He is going to be a Roman gladiator for Halloween. He was a pretty big hit at school and I had lots of people ask me where I got it and look pretty boggled when I said I made it. Hopefully he will get distracted enough to wear his golden laurel wreath out on Halloween or else you mayyyy get him confused with an angel or a girl or something. He is talking more now. He repeats a lot of words and is constantly describing things around him. I don't like that he has picked up saying "Mine" from school, but what can you do. He walks well and mostly runs everywhere he goes. He is a pretty picky eater which we are trying to change. He loves his stuffed musical sheep, Daisy. Sometimes he prefers to sleep in his pack and play because it makes him feel safe. He has three molars and the fourth is coming in along with the two bottom teeth to make a foursome down there. He is so funny and sunny and loving. He gives hugs and kisses and waves goodbye to everyone. Pretty much he is awesome.

I suppose I should go start unpacking otherwise Declan will unpack it all for me tomorrow by throwing it around the apartment or putting things in random drawers. I'm so happy to have the internet back!

Blessings

Happy. It is a beautiful 84 degrees out, I have been filing and not having to reprimand small ones all day and my son walked away from me when we entered the classroom this morning. He is getting to be a big, independent boy and as my last post proved, sometimes it gets me a little misty-eyed. Not today. Today I will revel in the joy in my heart and my lovely boy that I spied fingerpainting at a table with his friends earlier. I will think of the luck I have to possess a husband who let me have some "me time" while he watched Declan and made us all dinner the other night. And gets me ice cream. I have a family that I know would do anything from me, in this time zone and the time zone next to me. I am starting to gain friends and have friends to go to a Halloween party with and go trick-or-treating together. I have a full time job with discounted child-care. I don't have to take work home with me so I get to spend all my time with my loves. My husband has a job that he loves, and I am pretty fond of too. I have friends that make time to chat with me even though we have babies joining the conversation on both sides. I have a roof over my head.

Some days (as we all do) I get down and get so worried about staying down that it keeps me down. I think a switch was flipped and today I just feel good. I am happy and so happy with my little family. I hope everyone out there counts their blessings often. It is awesome to know that I may not have a lot in the eyes of a lot of people, but I sure have a lot of love and that is what really matters.

Alone

I barely know how to put into words how I'm feeling right now. I guess I'm just feeling like a jumble. I'm trying my best to get used to this new life and this new place (though the actual place of living will change quite soon). I'm trying to rock out this adventure that we're having and appreciate all that I have and have been given. However, I still miss home like crazy. Pretty much anything that I read or watch causes my heart to have some pang of missing someone. I feel like crying at least a dozen times a day.

Something that is really bittersweet is watching Declan at school. I have the privilege/ curse of getting to spy him several times a day through windows while he plays and carries on with his friends. It breaks my heart every day bringing him to school, knowing that someone else is going to make him smile and get to hear his laugh. They get to watch new firsts, while I get left behind. I am so happy that he is getting social interaction, learning new things and getting to experience art and music that we wouldn't if we were home alone... but it is hard for me to know that I am no longer the center of his existence. 

Today was the first day that he didn't cry as we dropped him off. I am so proud that he is getting to be a big boy and learning to be independent, but even though it is obviously NOT what I would want for him, it's hard knowing that he's not pining away for me and my hugs. Throughout the day I count down the minutes that I get to pick him up and see his smile light up at my arrival. I can't explain how much I love when he jumps in my arms and I know that my world is ok because he is ok. Being a mom makes me feel more than I even knew possible, and I'm a pretty emotional person. 

I love that kid.