Monday, September 27, 2010

Day 1 - Something You Hate About Yourself

Hmm. Something I hate about myself. Well... I am SO grateful that I am in a place where the answer is really not much. There are certainly things that I work on about myself, but not so many that get the passion of the word hate. I suppose that if I have to choose something, then I hate how selfish I am.

I really don't like saying this out loud because that makes me responsible for it. It makes me put it out there that I am aware of how selfish I am and if I know about it then I should probably change it and not just let it go on as I sit there oblivious. I work hard, I try my best to do good for those around me, and a lot of times I feel as though that makes me deserve more than others. While I know sometimes it gets put upon other people... Logan for sure gets the most directed his way. Our relationship was started while I was working full time, taking three grad classes and just newly pregnant. This meant that a lot of his time and effort went to making things easier for me and I think I grew pretty dependent on him getting up to turn the light off and walking down the street in the snow to get me donuts.

A lot of times I just sit there and think of how tired I am, and how hard I've been working and how I deserve a break from watching Declan. The problem is that now Logan works just as hard, is up when I'm up and is watching Declan too. I hate saying this, but it is really hard for me to put his needs first. I wish it came easier!! I want to make him happy, and I want to make his life easier, and I want that to be second nature to me. I guess for now I just need to be aware of myself and my selfish nature.

I will work on it and try to put others first. Logan- I'm sorry that I'm selfish. I love you very much. (And I know you love me even through my selfishness... <3 )

1 comment:

  1. I could have given the same answer. *nods* Glad you were able to admit it. That takes humility. Yea... now we're responsible for making the changes.


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