Thursday, August 5, 2010
Last Day to Pack
I sit here, surrounded by to-do lists, piles of things to get packed, and my 16 month old toddling around undoing every job I complete and attempting to unpack everything I put into boxes. Today is my last day to get this done. I won't be leaving for Texas until Sunday, but today is my last day at this newest "home". I have two days of wedding fun ahead of me, but I am slightly unable to see it at this moment.
I can't believe that this is really happening. I've been wanting the excitement and adventure of moving to a completely different place for the last two or three years. I had gone so far to make plans to move to Oklahoma before Logan and I got together. I had started the application to OSU, had a place to stay and even had plane tickets booked for my friend who was going to drive there with me. Then I met Logan and fell completely and totally head-over-heels in love, and just couldn't go. I stayed to find out where things could go and was pregnant within two months. My traveling adventures came to a pause.
I say pause because here we are, about to press the play button again. I stayed while I was pregnant and while Declan was small because I needed the comfort of having my family around, and also because I couldn't bear to take him away from them. I have always been close with my family. We celebrate every holiday together from Christmas to the 4th of July. I want that for him. I want him to know his cousins and grandparents and have that special bond. So it tears my hearts apart a little to know that I'm taking him away from that (with my side of the family anyway). However, I know that we are young and if we are to adventure, now is the time. We are at points in our careers that it is easy to leave them, Declan is not in school yet, and it will only get harder from here. Anything can happen. I know that if I really needed it, I would have several people that would gladly get me a ticket to come home. I'm not saying that I am going to need it... but it is still nice to know that my support system won't disappear because I have moved a few miles away.
I have had a huge mental block with actually getting things packed up. It's hard to make it real. I know that it will be great, and a learning experience, and a chance for Logan and I to start something new with our little family. However, to everyone on the East Coast... know that I will miss you terribly.