I recently said something in a pining voice about Kieran being bigger and doing more things and was asked if I was sad about my boys growing up. Well... yes and no. And yes. And no.
I can't even express how grateful I am every day that I get to watch them grow up. I am getting to watch Kieran start to sign and communicate and see the pride on Deckie's face as he scoots a little faster each time we go out. I am getting to first-hand witness these boys becoming more and more of who they are. They are still tiny, but there is that person inside of them taking more form every day.
(For today anyway...) Declan is my imaginative engineer. Imagining whole worlds and situations around him and building trains and rocket ships to come along for the journey. Kieran is my mover and shaker. He wants to be going so fast like his big brother, but can't go too long without jumping in my lap for a cuddle. His favorite place to fall asleep in on top of me.
But I know that each day, while it brings on new facets of each little being I am blessed with, it also brings them a little further from me. Which it should. If I do my job right, they will be able to be completely independent and (while still checking in on my from time to time) off on their own. Each day they run a little further before looking back. They go a little longer without needing that cuddle.
So yes, I am so excited to watch them grow, but every day I am grateful for how much they need me now.
To see them blossom and change I am happy. And sad. But mostly happy.
|Kieran kept crawling away and Deckie thought it was hilarious.|
|My dreamer boy|