Anniversary

Today is our third anniversary. Three years since our love story started a new chapter. After a quick engagement (And yes, I mean quick. I think it was about two weeks) we decided to make things official at City Hall. Not nearly all the reason, but part of the reason, being that I was pregnant. Not just a little pregnant, but about to pop. So this is what I really looked like on our actual wedding day. Three St. Patrick's Days ago. 

 

Two weeks later we had our lovely little man. And the same last name was had by all. However, we waited four months before having the "ceremony" that we invited our friends and family to. It was nice doing it this way because we knew that no matter what else happened- we were already married. It also meant that my brother got to "officiate" which was really special. 

To my Love:

When we met we had no idea what we were in for. One moment together and we knew that this was it. Whatever else happened, we were going to be together. It took nine months to actually go out, and nine months later we were married. Three years, two babies, six moves (one cross country), three jobs for you, four jobs for me, and a whole lot of love later and here we are. 

Every day we grow stronger together and as individuals because of each other. I am so lucky to be here to watch you grow. As a father, as a husband, as a man. We have already been through a lot and I know we're still just beginning. 

Til the wheels fall off.

K

6 Months

I can't believe it's been six months already. Half a year. 

You sit up on your own and grab everything you possibly can. You love to eat. Boy, do you love to eat. You smile and laugh, and you are the happiest possible when in touching distance of your brother. 

At your 6 month check up you were 17lb 4oz and took your shots like a champ. 

You fit into our lives like there was already a spot carved out for you. There honestly haven't been any road bumps or hard things to get used to. You have made our lives better since day one and I can't wait to see what lays ahead. 

Four Months

Oh my little man. I can't believe it's already been four months. Every day I count my blessings that I get to spend my time with you. I could spend each monthly post going on and on about my love for you (and your brother) but it's late, and you are both asleep so I'll make this quick so I can join you in dreamland. 

The plan is for to go to the Dr tomorrow for your checkup. (Though one person said your appointment was today after I had already been confirmed for tomorrow. I figured I would have made it for my day off and not your dad's, but... I don't know. Maybe your appointment won't be tomorrow. We'll see). However, when we last checked you on a scale you were 15 pounds. You are definitely our little chunky monkey. I can't get over your thighs, and your cheeks start conversations everywhere we go. 

You love to smile. Pretty much anything and anyone can make you smile. You love to charm people as we wait in line at the grocery store or coffee shop. You also love to talk, but you save a lot of that for Mama so that we can have a back and forth conversation. When you want your opinion known, you definitely have your own voice. 

You have rolled over from your tummy to your back, but not consistently at all. You are, however starting to be more consistent with getting yourself over on your side. It freaks me out when I look away and you are in a different position when I look back. You love standing. I only do the balancing for you. The rest is all your leg power. 

You are still completely nursed. They say 4-6 months to introduce food. You seem to be doing well with just milk, so I think we'll probably wait another month and see where we're at then. (We bought a can of formula as a just in case when Mama went out- but didn't end up using any yet). 

You are in love with your brother. He lights up your world. It is the sweetest thing to see the two of you together, and I am slightly terrified of the inevitable ganging up against mom that there will be- but your brother love is for another post. With other pictures of your admiration. 

I am so excited to have our first Christmas with a family of four. Since Dex is now bigger, you will get more of the excitement from the start. Santa has some surprises in store!

So anyway... four months. Wow. We have survived. Every day brings new triumphs and challenges, but the triumphs overpower by far. I'm working on cherishing every moment of you being tiny, because I know it won't last long. However, I'm also so excited to see what else is in store for us!

One Month

Oh, to my sweet one month old boy. One month ago we were a family of three. One month ago we were about to become a family of four. One month ago we made a huge transition.

And now it seems as though you have been here forever. We were meant to be together like this. You have opened up so many doors in our hearts, and you found a way to fit perfectly into our lives. All those cliches about our hearts growing bigger to encompass our love for you, and how time flies... they're all true. I sit here looking into your growing-more-blue-by-the-day eyes and know that you are supposed to be here with us.

Declan is growing into his role as a big brother. He has spent much of the last month acknowledging you being here, but being more interested in buckling your car seat together than hanging out with you. However, in the last few days he has taken it upon himself to make sure you have your "binky" and giving you more kisses than I can count. Sometimes those kisses end up in your eyes, but everything he does toward you is with love. He accepted you into our family better than I could have imagined.

And you. You are a great baby. You hardly ever cry, and you have a super laid back presence that calms us all. You wake up during the night, but do a pretty good job at sleeping. When you wake up, you just eat and go back to sleep. When we put you down, you can hang out by yourself for a bit, but you definitely prefer being in Mommy's lap or arms. You have had less than a handful of bottles and are doing fabulous at eating. I can't believe how much you have already grown. You are constantly active and alert.

You complete our family.

To My Two Year Old

Oh to my Dearest Dex,

I barely even know how to start this. I feel as though our lives are in a constant whirlwind of action that it is hard for me to slow down enough to even get these thoughts out. And as I say that, it might not be that it is hard for me to slow the time down, but hard for me to start letting out thoughts on my love for you because it will overwhelm me so.

This weekend you turned two. Saturday marked the two year date from the time I spent in the hospital waiting, working, and then finally getting to meet you. My son. I often don't feel old enough to have a son. But I do know one thing... that we belong together. I have watched you learn to do more than just take in the world around you as you did when you were so small. You now take over the world. Where you once couldn't even sit up on your own, you now can barely contain yourself to a walk.

You run.

Declan, you run. You sing, you yell, you give the biggest hugs and kisses I could ask for. You can sing the abc's and count to ten. You can put on your own shoes. Every day I am amazed by how much you know and how much you are constantly learning. I love to sit back and watch as you play by yourself, making food in your kitchen and driving cars around the living room. You are quickly becoming a child... a real boy if you will. I am so proud of you, but it goes by so much quicker than I would like.

In the last two years I have lost a lot of sleep. I have been so mad I could spit sometimes. And I have had more bodily functions tossed on to me than I knew possible. But it has all been so worth it. Because I have known more love than I ever knew my heart could handle. You light up my life and mean more to me than anything. I wish I could drop everything and be with you all (well... most) of the time.

I know that you are going to be a great big brother. I know this because you are already a great son and friend. If you teach the new baby half of what you have taught me then the love you share will be never-ending.

All the love in my heart,

Mom

Dear So and So

ALSO I forgot

A little rant

Dear person who parked halfway across the driveway,

I'm not sure why you don't understand that you literally parked your car on the street blocking half of our driveway. Did you not see that there was a driveway there? Was the entire street being empty in front of your space just not enough room? I was only home for five minutes for a bathroom break. I don't understand the complete lack of respect for the rules of driving. My car is not a tank. I don't drive over the sidewalk to get to the road. I drive through the break in the sidewalk. Ugh.

Your lucky I didn't call a towtruck,

Kate

Dear Declan

Dear Declan,
Over the past 15 months I have fallen more in love than I knew possible. Every day you teach me about love and patience and joy (along with frustration and exhaustion, but we'll focus on the good here). I have had the privilege of being able to watch as you have achieved so many things. I have watched you learn to roll over, sit up, crawl, pull yourself up, and I am about to watch you learn to walk. I cannot tell you how much excitement and anxiety I feel over this upcoming moment. You are SO close, and I know that those first steps will be into true toddler-hood, into independence, and the start of taking steps away from me.

I know that is the way that it should be. It is not my job to raise you to hang onto my leg at every moment, but to raise you up so you can run and soar on your own. However, it is terrifying knowing how close this next step is. Some babies go from crawling to walking so fast that people don't even notice the change. You have taken your time- knowing that crawling is what you are good at so why would you try something different? I have gotten to savor each change in your mobility. I feel like my days are lived in complete anticipation right now, just waiting. I don't want to push you into anything, but I am so excited to see how proud of yourself you will be. And I know you will be so proud. I can picture the ear-to-ear grin right now and my heart swells.

You haven't started to say "mama" yet, and that's ok because I know you love me. However, more than saying "mama" I would LOVE it if you started walking while I was around. I am with you 90% of the time, so this shouldn't be a problem, but please, please let me share in this joy. It's been you and me (and daddy... but mostly you and me) so far kid and I feel as though we're in it together at this point.

I love you more than you know,

Mommy

To My Wonderful Husband

I didn't end up writing a Father's Day post to brag about the wonderful man in my life. Things have been busy and stressful and we've both been dealing with a lot. I guess I wrote about him recently with our anniversary, but with the last few days, it didn't do him justice.

To my rock,
Thank you so much for everything you do. Watching you blossom into a grownup is the biggest blessing. You have grown from a party frat guy into a responsible (mostly) husband and father. Every day I get to wake up in your arms and I can't tell you how special I feel knowing that no matter what I look like, you will smile and kiss me and say "Good morning, beautiful." Seriously. You seem to enjoy my bed-head. Who else but you?

I get to watch you light up our son's face when you enter the room. Your absolute and true love for him is apparent at first glance. You were born to be a dad. I can't put into words how beautiful you are when you are with him.

To be more specific about where this is coming from, thank you for everything with this move. Thank you for being reassuring, thank you for putting in your time. Thank you for not sleeping last night and going out and getting me Tylenol when I couldn't function anymore. Thank you for driving me to a bed and then driving yourself back to the house to work. Thank you for telling me you love me even when I got sleep that you didn't. Thank you for lifting things and dealing with the stinky garbage. Thank you for THANKING ME and telling ME how good I am to YOU when all I did was get your stuff together and get you a sandwich to have before you WENT TO WORK with NO sleep.

You amaze me.

I love you super much.

Dear So and So

Dear Employers,
It would be really great if any of you would respond to my job applications. I put in the effort to fill out your paperwork and write personalized cover letters to you, and I haven't gotten a single thing back. From anyone. With my time and effort put in, is it so wrong to expect even a copy and paste rejection email?

Sigh,
What am I doing wrong?


Dear Austin (Texas) and anyone that lives there,
Do you have any jobs available for me? I think our plan (if we can get jobs that is) will be to move there July 1. Yikes that is soon! I would prefer a job that requires more than a high school diploma considering that I just got my Master's... but I'm not too hopeful right now.

Life is moving too fast,
Job Hunter

Dear Knot in my Stomach,
It would be really great if you went away. I know there has been a lot of stress around inviting you in, but I'm kicking you out. I'm taking deep breaths and I know that it will all work out just the way that it is supposed to... but you are not making things easier.

Done with you,
In -Out- In- Out

Dear Vicky,

Dear Vicky from the pediatricians office,
Thank you so much for being the only person to help me today. You see, we got kicked off of Declan's health insurance in October, and were not informed. We probably got some notice saying that if I failed to send in Declan's birth certificate that we would be kicked off at some point, but since I thought I filled out a paper saying for them to find it because he was born in MA, I thought we were all set. Therefore, I didn't know that we were kicked off and went to the Dr a couple of times in the interim. I wouldn't have done this if I had known we didn't have health insurance.

Now we have a bill of close to $500 for the Dr literally glancing in his ear and declaring he had an ear infection (I knew that one), looking at his hand when it got burned and told me to put bacitracin on it (knew that before I went in too), and his 9 month check up. How they can possibly charge so much for not doing a whole lot I don't quite understand.

Anyway, so Masshealth told me to call Health Safety Net. So I did. And after not being able to get ahold of anyone on the phone for two days, they finally called me back and told me there was nothing they could do to help me because it was a private physician. If I had gone somewhere else they could have helped me. Hello! I wouldn't have gone there if I had known that I wasn't covered in the first place! So... zero help... just attitude.

Also, my ear is killing me. I've had a cold/sinus thing for the last week and it has finally escalated to the point where I'm actually ready to see a Dr. I never go to the Dr. I finally got my paperwork for my health insurance (we are switching to Logan's work insurance in about a month, once he has been full time for three months) with a physician on it. I called them and since I haven't been there before, they can't see me. In fact, not only can they not see me today, but they can't see me for a couple of weeks. I won't be sick still then! And that doesn't help me get better today at all! And I'll be switching health insurance anyway! This is why I don't go to the Dr. It is just so complicated.

So I was in tears. Declan was fighting a nap and was also in tears. I'm pretty sure Logan didn't really know what to do with the two thirds of his family that was breaking down, and I get a phone call from the physician's office. The woman on the phone recognized that I was sick, and was sympathetic. She is going to do her best to try to get some of the costs down, and will call me back on Monday to give me some time to calm down from the whole situation. Thank you. Thank you for being understanding and kind and actually trying to help me out. I wish you knew how much you even realizing that I wasn't feeling well helped.

Sometimes being a grown up really stinks.

Thanks again,
Kate

Dear Car Seat Company,

Dear Safety 1st Car Seat Company,
My son threw up twice in your car seat today. Kids throw up. All the time. It happens. So therefore, I need to wash the covers in my car seat. Since the car seat is pretty new, this was the first time I had to take the cover off. This would have been a lot easier if the manual wasn't COVERED in puke! I think that the placement of the instruction manual being UNDER THE SEAT was not a good idea. When anything... juice, throw up, pee... drips down, it goes RIGHT ON the manual. So I had to try to understand your difficult instructions, which were soaking wet, while trying not to get myself covered in the puke as well. Jeez! It took me about 30 minutes while trying to get my son to stop crawling all over the seat while trying to change it.

Thanks a lot for poor planning,
Kate

P.S. Please send me a new manual to replace my ruined one. K THX BYE