Growing Up

I recently said something in a pining voice about Kieran being bigger and doing more things and was asked if I was sad about my boys growing up. Well... yes and no. And yes. And no. 

I can't even express how grateful I am every day that I get to watch them grow up. I am getting to watch Kieran start to sign and communicate and see the pride on Deckie's face as he scoots a little faster each time we go out. I am getting to first-hand witness these boys becoming more and more of who they are. They are still tiny, but there is that person inside of them taking more form every day. 

(For today anyway...) Declan is my imaginative engineer. Imagining whole worlds and situations around him and building trains and rocket ships to come along for the journey. Kieran is my mover and shaker. He wants to be going so fast like his big brother, but can't go too long without jumping in my lap for a cuddle. His favorite place to fall asleep in on top of me. 

But I know that each day, while it brings on new facets of each little being I am blessed with, it also brings them a little further from me. Which it should. If I do my job right, they will be able to be completely independent and (while still checking in on my from time to time) off on their own. Each day they run a little further before looking back. They go a little longer without needing that cuddle. 

So yes, I am so excited to watch them grow, but every day I am grateful for how much they need me now. 

To see them blossom and change I am happy. And sad. But mostly happy. 

Kieran kept crawling away and Deckie thought it was hilarious. 

My dreamer boy

These Two/ 10 Months/ Photoshoot

Seriously. The love between these two boys makes my heart melt. I didn't ask them to hold hands. They are just naturally drawn to be close to each other. 

I love when I hear from the back of the car from Dex: "Kiery, Kiery- do you see all the cars driving fast?" He takes his role as big brother seriously and is constantly teaching Kieran about the world around them. 

Kieran is now 10 months as of yesterday. He is pulling himself up on everything and cruising along holding onto things. He still eats pretty much everything, however, if he prefers one part of a meal to another he is not afraid to show it by throwing the undesired on the ground. He loves to sit at the little table with Deckie and feed himself. At 10 months he is fitting comfortably in 12 month clothes and may be another size up when he turns one. He loves to dance and make noise when we are singing. He is my rough and tumble boy. Where Deckie was afraid of finger paint and making me wipe up spills, Kieran is putting bugs and trash in his mouth and crawling until his head hits the glass door. His forehead generally has some sort of bruise due to bumping it. He loves to come and jump in my lap for a cuddle and is learning how to give kisses, which is my favorite. 

My boys are learning to play with each other. Crawling on top of each other and rolling away. Hiding and sharing. I can't wait to see how their relationship continues to flourish. 

Hanging Out/ Kieran is 9 Months

I haven't been here much because I've been working more. This has caused less time with my boys, so I've been focused a whole lot more on spending quality time with them when I'm with them. This has meant less internetting, less picture taking, and more soaking up their wonderfulness. 

Kieran turned 9 months. He is now crawling with a vengeance. He moves at lightning speed. He pulls up to standing and yesterday was cruising along the length of our bed. He babbles like crazy, repeating some sounds- especially when we say "Deckie." He rarely eats "baby food" now and pretty much just joins us in eating whatever we are eating. So far, there isn't really anything that he hasn't liked. 

The boys are such great brothers. Yes, there are moments when Dex forgets exactly how to be gentle, but for the most part they are wonderful to each other. Deckie shares crackers with Kieran in the backseat of the car, Kieran crawls around after him, and they both like to spend their time near each other. 

Kieran is becoming so much more of a person every day. He and Declan are really different. Kieran chases after balls and crawls until he hits his head and puts everything in his mouth. Dex loves to wash his hands, has the biggest imagination, and loves to build. I love watching them grow more into themselves. 

Recharge

Today was a long day. It was a day full of thoughts I didn't want to think and decisions looming in the distance slowly growing closer. I know that everything will work out just the way it should, and in the end (well, is it ever really the end?) things will in fact be great and better than they have before. However, today... it just seemed long and overwhelming.

On the ride home I started to feel physically sick. I had gotten myself so stressed out that it was affecting my body. Then I realized. I haven't had a single moment to myself in a week. So I asked my lovely husband, who had already had toddler duty for the entire day, if he could take on being "the one in charge" so I could have a moment to recharge. He, of course, gladly said yes.

I dropped the boys at home, promised Dex I would be back soon to play, and I drove. I didn't go far. I just went to grab a chai. Just a few minutes alone. I started to breathe again. I grabbed my drink and sat for a minute, but it was just too loud. There were people talking and music playing and... I'm an introvert. I just needed quiet. So I hopped back in the car and started driving home. I turned off the radio, and just listened to the rain and the sound of the windshield wipers.

And then I was really able to breathe. And by the time I got back I was ready to be a good mom again.

Because sometimes we all just need a few moments to recharge.

So we can get back to these faces.

First he drew this guy with "crazy hair"

Then he drew another guy and said he was sad. So he drew a friend so he wasn't alone anymore. Then he was happy.
My sweet boy. 

Brothers

I can't get over how sweet it is to watch my boys turn into brothers. To watch their relationship blossom in front of my eyes. I hope this bond stays strong as time continues on. Because for now, Dex can move Heaven and Earth in Kieran's eyes. 

Declan is very protective. Calling Kieran his baby. His brother. He makes sure to help him if he is fussing and that no stranger does anything wrong to him. He shows him how to do things including, but not limited to, rolling over. They were both rolling over on the floor the other day. 

Dex for sure is paving the way for little man. 

Side by Side

When I found out I was going to have a second child, I was obviously excited. However, I was already so acquainted with my first born that it seemed impossible to me that I was actually going to have a different kid. Not just another Declan. That seemed even weirder to me once I found out it was a boy. 

Now, I stare at them. I look at their faces and pay attention to every detail of their personality. I love looking at their similarities and differences. Here are some pics for you to see them together. 

They have definite similarities and differences in their faces. Dex has Logan's eyes and more of my nose. Kieran has more my eyes and Logan's nose. However, they seem to pull it off to look alike anyway. 

Here are my boys...

**Sorry for the terrible quality of Declan's pictures. The ones that were most helpful were old cell phone pics.

Catch Up

So my brother, Dan, has been visiting for the last few days. He is now on a plane home, and the two littles and I are having a lazy day after the adventure we had to San Antonio yesterday.

I have some updates and a big one month post for my now one month old babe. (Though that is will be a few days late).

For now... some photos to placate those wonderful enough to read this!

One time the boys took a nap together

One time Dex got to pet a donkey

One time he got to jump in a bouncy castle

One time it rained!!!!